Welcome back to the Dog Blog, humans. We’re Tucker, Bailey and Cody, your canine hosts.
This month, we’re meeting to discuss a very important matter – the holidays. Or as Bailey calls them, the howl-idays.
As a species, you humans are pretty great at feeding us, giving us water and occasionally trying to throw the ball we bring you, even though we really just want you to WANT to throw the ball. Overall, the cuddles are abundant and the complaints are few, but we’ve found your one glaring downfall: gift-giving.
We’re sort of putting ourselves in a glass doghouse here – we know you don’t always like the “presents” we leave for you, either. But given our limited income and lack of opposable thumbs, we get as resourceful as we can. In your case, though, we know you have options.
The squeakers from the grocery store? Sure, they’re cheap and fit in a stocking, but it takes longer for you to wrap them than it does for us to destroy them.
Regular rawhides? Aside from the tummy issues and awful dog breath, there’s also the question of flavor. In the same way that you toss a piece of gum after a few dozen chews, we aren’t a fan of the same bland “treat” day after day.
Oh, and the clothes. Don’t even get Tucker started on boots, but the injustices don’t stop there. Ugly sweaters, t-shirts with bedazzled bones on them, onesies with a spot for our tails…the Instagram likes aren’t worth the revenge we’re going to seek on your favorite shoes. Trust us.
In the spirit of helping our humans (and finally getting gifts worth barking about), we’ve compiled a list of the most drool-worthy presents you could possibly purchase.
Take notes, humans. The sanctity of your shoe rack depends upon it.
- For the exploratory pooch: Pet Peek fence window. If you give us a window, we won’t have to bark at unknown sounds. Instead, we’ll know exactly what we’re barking at and adjust our volume accordingly.
- For the tough chewer: Barkworthies Antlers. Don’t tell Rudolf, but these chews are just as tasty as they are festive.
- For the industrial dog: Doggy blueprints. Because it’s never a bad idea to know how to build a best friend.
- For the fashion lover: Gold Paw Series Fleeces. Warm up with stylish patterns that just scream “Instagram famous.”
- For the sleepy pup: Casper Dog Mattress. Made from the same stuff as the people version, this mattress is durable, sharable and most importantly, comfortable.
- For our kitty counterparts: Kitty coal. Because, you know, they’re cats.
- For the chill canine: CBD Pet Care from The Green Pet Shop. Ease pain and anxiety with (completely legal and organic) hemp extracts.
- For the filmmaking fido: Eyenimal Pet Videocam. Let your pet create the content for their own Instagram account with this collar cam.
- For the dog foodie: Caru Beef Bone Broth. Add some flavor (and nutrition) to the usual kibble. Great for cats, too (if there’s any left over to share).
- For the good boy: Real Dogs personalized treats. Put your name AND your face on your snacks to discourage treat thievery.
- For the literary pup: Underwater Dogs by Seth Casteel. The cultured human knows the benefits of a good coffee table read, and the sporty pup will appreciate the talent it takes to fetch toys in a giant water bowl.
If these are out of reach, we’ll graciously accept the classics – tennis balls, belly rubs and bacon – as well. Some traditions are worth keeping.
Woofs and kisses,
T, B & C