Hello, humans. You’re just in time for another installment of the Dog Blog with Tucker, Bailey and Cody.
We’ve observed an odd trend over the last few years: our humans buy stuffed toys that we’re not allowed to chew on, treats that we’re not allowed to eat and weird plants that we don’t even get to dig up. As best as we can tell, this horrible tradition is called “Valentine’s Day.”
It seems the day comes every year, with varying results from our humans. We’ve seen happy humans, sad humans, humans who’ve spent a lot of time drinking dark water out of tiny clear bowls…but we’re here to tell you that no human can beat a canine Valentine. It’s no secret that dogs are preferable company to most humans, so why shouldn’t that be true on February 14th as well?
Think about it. With another human, you have to play the guessing game – should I buy a gift? How much should I spend? Are flowers too impersonal? Do they even LIKE flowers? What if they’re allergic?
The confusion is baffling to us, given how much humans bark at each other about everything else. With dogs, we don’t even speak the same language and still, the perfect gift is always a given. Treats. Belly rubs. Ear scratches. Maybe a whimsically shaped new squeaky toy. No barks about it, we’re the easier option.
And our bone-afide betterness doesn’t stop there. Think of the cuddles – you don’t even have to buy us a fancy dinner (but Bailey says it wouldn’t hurt) to guarantee an evening of loving, warm, borderline smothering cuddles. You want to watch The Notebook on the couch without grumbles and mumbles from your human friends? Pop that movie in, pat the seat next to you and get ready for the best night that best friends can have. If you’re a bird, we’re a bird(dog).
Don’t forget the long-term benefits of a canine Valentine! The love and adoration isn’t confined to just one day. We don’t need a calendar to tell us that you’re the best ever, or a card to express our unbridled excitement over seeing you. Every time you come through the door, our wagging tail and whiny barks are proof that you’re our favorite living thing, and trust us when we say that you can only get more exciting when you’re holding a can opener.
So, humans, what we’re saying is…save the money on the poisonous treats and non-squeaky stuffed bears. Get a dog. We’re cuter anyway.
Woof and kisses,
T, B and C
P.S. If you don’t already have a furry Valentine, check out your local shelters for a new bestie. Here are a few of our favorites.